


Cocky meets considerate

by deadp0et



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-27
Updated: 2015-07-30
Packaged: 2018-04-11 11:55:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4434560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadp0et/pseuds/deadp0et
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>such a lame title. </p><p>Anyways, I am a HUGE fan of Law&Order SVU, and I ship liv/rafi so hard. </p><p>So I thought I'd write a fic c:</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> such a lame title. 
> 
> Anyways, I am a HUGE fan of Law&Order SVU, and I ship liv/rafi so hard. 
> 
> So I thought I'd write a fic c:

_Barba's P.O.V. . ._

 

"No way I will cut him a deal. He's going down. Good day, counselor." I gave a smug smile to the defendant's lawyer then clicked my briefcase shut and headed out of the courtroom, only to be greeted by Captain Harris and two absolutely stunning women.

"Barba, nice to see you again." He gave me a warm smile.  
  
"Is it bring your daughters to work day, captain?" I gave both the ladies a welcoming smile.

"Funny, barba. This is Detective Amanda Rollins," he gestured to the petite blonde who was wearing a white tank topand black loose fitting jeans. "and this is Detective Olivia Benson." He motioned towards the slim brunette wearing a loose fitting see through button up blouse and skin tight jeans, her gun and badge showing.

 _My god she is stunning..._ I quickly glanced up and down her body, not to check her out..okay, maybe to check her out. "It's very nice to meet you. To what do I owe the honor?"

"Well," Captain Harris chimed in, "I lied and told them you know your way around a court room."

I lightly chuckled. "Did you, now?"

Rollins stepped in. "Do you know who Adam Cane is?"

I thought for a moment. "The talk show host, right?"  
  
She nodded. "A girl was admitted into the hospital this morning, Jocelyn Paley. You know her?"

"The author of 25 acts?"

Amanda nodded. "We think she was raped. She had very bad bruising around her neck, and the rape kit came back positive with bodily fluids, lab is running the results as we speak."  
  
I sighed. "Detective Rollins, you may not like me after I say this bu-"

She cut me off. "Oh, I don't like you now, counselor."

I gave a light laugh. "Anyways, an author of the most erotic book in the US shows up in a hospital looking pretty banged up, and the rape kit came back positive for..bodily..fluids. Let me tell you how this is going to play out. The jury will see it was rough sex, CONSENSUAL, rough sex."

"I have a victim-"

"Alledged victim, Detective." I added in.

She rolled her eyes. "Harris told me you liked taking on cases like this. Weren't you the one who put two guys away for the rape of a prostitute?"

I nodded. "Yes, but those guys were scum bags, and the jury saw it. Adam Cane has huge ties to the community, and he's helped out the state of new York more then you probably know about an-"

"Just stop right there," She put her finger up. "We'll find another DA." She turned and started walking out.

"Don't mind her, counselor." Benson stepped in. "She's very testy when it comes to this, I wouldn't sweat it, she'll apologize when she sees you."

I put out my hand. "Thank you, Detective Benson."

She gave me a warm smile. "Call me Olivia.

 

~1year later~

 

 _Come on, Barba. Just go ask her out._ I glanced over and Olivia, who was sitting at the bar drinking a glass of..brandy, maybe? I couldn't tell. _No, don't. You aren't supposed to mix business with pleasure..it isn't ethical, and it certainly never ends well._ A bought began with me and my sub conscious. _But this could be different, she is different, I can feel it._ Drinking down the remainder of my whisky to give myself a little liquid courage, I got up and walked over to her. "Hi, Detective."

"You know, every time I hear that, I think of my captain. Please, just call me O-" She gave a shocked expression as she turned and came face to face with me. "Barba..what are you, uhm..what are you doing here?"

"Just getting a drink, do you..want another..?" I motioned toward the light brown liquid in her glass.

"Brandy." _I knew it!_ "And, sure. I've never been one to turn down a drink before."

"Bartender, two more over here please." Sneaking a glance at Olivia, I could see the tension, and sense..fear? _Why fear?_ "Olivia, can I ask you something?"

She finished her drink, then answered. "Shoot."

"I just want to know how you do it..how you can handle seeing the stuff that you see. I've only been with you guys for six months and it's already getting to me."

"Well, counselor, that is why we come here." She motioned around the bar. "It's a way to get away from all of it for a little while, it helps, believe it or not."

"So..from that, I'm supposed to gather that drinking is the solution to everything?"

Olivia laughed. "No, ofcourse not, that isn't what I-"

I stopped her. "I know what you meant, liv."

She leaned in closer to me and I let my eyes lower to her chest.. _Rafael Barba you stop that right now, you_ pervert! I mentally cursed at myself for looking. "So, Barba, what brings you here?" Her words were getting slurred.

 _You._ "I was just on my way home and thought I'd stop for a drink." I started biting my lip as I became more nervous.

"Are you okay, counselor?" Olivia rested her hand on my arm.

"Please, call me Rafael. And I'm fine."

She nodded and looked over at the bartender. "Can I get another one please?"

"Liv, I think you've had enough." I rested my hand on her shoulder.

She shrugged. "You're probably right...hey, do you wanna get out of here? We can go back to my place."

My heart skipped a beat. "Sure, let's go." I held my arm out for her an she grabbed onto it, stumbling out of her chair. "Woah, be careful." She started giggling. _God, she's so cute._ Once we were outside I stopped a cab and we both got in, Liv gave cab driver her address and we were there within minutes. I got out first and helped Olivia out.  
Omce we were inside of her apartment, she pushed me against the wall and tried to kiss me, but I pushed her away. "Olivia, no."

She started pouting. "Why nooooottt"

"Because, if I kiss you, I'll be just like the guys you arrest.I'll be just like..him.." Placing my hands on her shoulders, I could see the hurt in her eyes. "Please, please don't take that the wrong way because I really really like you, Olivia, I do. But you're drunk, and still very emotional from what has happened to you, I don't want to take advantage of you." I could see tears welling in her eyes, and then she fell into my arms, sobbing. "Shhh, it's okay, I'm right here." I started rubbing her back trying to give whatever comfort I could. "You're gonna be okay, Liv." Wrapping my arms around her, I could feel her body shaking. "Most women would not have been able to survive what you did, you are a very strong women."

Suddenly she pulled away, and swiped at her tears. "Look at me, I probably look a mess." She turned to walk away but I grabbed her arm. "Barb-"

"You look beautiful even when you're crying, come here." I pulled her back into my arms and we stayed like that for awhile. "I don't know about you but I am getting pretty tired." I felt a nod against my chest. "I'll take the couch, let me help you to bed first."

Liv pulled away again. "I don't see why we can't share the bed for one night, besides..I could use the comforting right now."

"It would be wrong, Olivia, I couldn-"

"Rafael, would you stop worrying? You aren't taking advantage of me. All we're doing in sleeping in the same bed."

A small grin went across my face. "You called me by my first name."

She grabbed my hand and led me to her bedroom. "I'm gonna change." I nodded and walked over to the bed, when I turned around, she was in nothing but her bra and panties. My face flushed and I turned away. "Oh, come on, Rafi. Haven't you ever seen a half naked women before?" She chuckled, and then stopped. "What will you be wearing to bed? I know you certainly aren't gonna wear those ridiculous suspenders."

"Hey, don't bash on the clothing." I lightly threw and pillow at her and she caught it, throwing it back at me.

"I have some of Brian's clothes here, he said I could just keep them, and I have no use for them, so..you can borrow one of his shirts and a pair of his shorts. I have some that will fit you." She walked into he closet and came back seconds later holding a white T-shirt and black short. "Here"

I took them. "Thank you, Liv."I started taking of my clothes and noticed her staring at me, I blushed and went as fast as I could, slipping the T-shirt and shorts on, I got into bed and patted the spot next to me. "Come on."

She smiled and layed down next to me, propping herself up on elbow. She quickly leaned in and kissed me. "Thank you, Rafi."

"For what?"

"Being here for me."

I sighed softly and pulled her into my arms. "Goodnight, Olivia."

"Goodnight, Rafi."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I decided to make this a..series, sort of. 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you guys like it
> 
> P.S; most of the story will be written in Barba's P.O.V

_Barba's P.O.V. . ._

 

I felt rustling next to me, then a had kick to my side. _What in the world._ Opening my eyes, I saw Olivia thrashing around mumbling something under her breath, I couldn't tell what. "Olivia." I gently shook her, when that didn't take, I tried again. "Liv." I shook her a little bit harder this time and she started screaming. Panicking, I started shaking her and saying her name over and over. "Olivia, wake up!" She shot up while screaming, and her breathing was labored. "Olivia.." I tentatively put my hand on her arm.

"It was him, Barba..He had me and-" Her words were cut off by her sobs.

"Oh, Liv." I pulled her into my arms and I could feel her body trembling. "Shhh, it's okay, darling. He can't hurt you anymore." I kissed her the top of her head while rubbing her back. "Look at me," putting my thumb and forefinger on her chin, I brought her face up. "He will never be able to hurt you again, Liv. He went away for a very long time."

She sniffled and swiped at her tears. "I know that, but my sub-conscious doesn't seen to understand.." Taking a deep breath in, she met my eyes again. "Wow, you've seen me cry two times in the matter of 12 hours and you still haven't left. I give you props."

I gave a light chuckle. "Come on, Liv. I might be a hard ass, but I would never leave you when you're like that." I wrapped my arms around her. "Are you still tired?" She nodded. I smiled and lay back down, taking her with me. "Let's see if this helps." I started humming 'Lay Low' by Blake Shelton, and within 10 minutes, Liv was softly snoring while I sarted dozing off myself.

~****~

I woke up and squinted my eyes, letting them adjust to the sunlight that was pouring into the room. I rolled over to find that Olivia wasn't next to me. _Where'd she go?_ "Liv?" I looked around the room, then pulled the covers off of myself and padded out into the kitchen where I found Olivia cooking. "Mmm, smells good." I sat at the bar and watched her cook. "What are you making?"

"Eggs, bacon, grits, and sausage." She turned around and smiled.

 "You're so beautiful." I could see her visibly blush. "Are you blushing, Detective Benson?"

"Shut up, Rafi." She grabbed a piece of sausage and threw it at me.

"Okay, okay, I surrender. Don't throw anymore sausage at me." I put my hands up in the air and she started giggling. "Your giggle is so damn cute." I got up and walked over to her. "You're just cute in general." She poked me in my side and I winced.

"i'm-I'm sorry, did I..?"

I shook my head. "No, I'm fine. I'm sure it's not that bad."

She bit her lip and reached for my shirt, pulling it up and exposing a nasty looking bruise. She frowned.

"It's okay Liv,:" I grabbed her hand and intertwined it with mine, "it wasn't your fault, and it doesn't even hurt." In all reality, it actually hurt pretty bad, but I didn't want to make her feel bad about it when she had n control over it.

"Are you sure, because-"

I cut her off by giving her a swift kiss. "Yes, I'm sure. Now make me some food, wench." I gave her a playful smile and went back to the bar to sit down. "So, do you..remember, anything from last night?"

"Hmm," she paused, "yeah, you know, I think I do. This weird guy bought be some drinks and ended up coming home with me."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, detective benson, what am I gonna do with you?"

She laughed, then stopped. "I remember taking a cab here, and you helping me up..and pushing me off of you when I tried to kiss you, then me crying, and then getting into bed with you."

"You don't completely resent me for that, do you?"

She looked over to me. "What? You not wanting to kiss me?"

I sighed. "I did, more then you can imagine..but, Liv-"

Cutting me off, she interjected. "Wait, I didn't mean to make it sound like I'm upset about it. I actually respect what you did last night, it means a lot to me, believe it or not."

"I'm glad you feel that way..I didn't want you to hate me or anything like that." I gave her a teasing smile, and she handed me a cup of coffee.

"Oh, no. Not like I've been wanting to kiss you ever since we first met or anything."

I choked on the coffee I was trying to swallow. "You..?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

"Liv..you should've told me."

She sighed heavily. "As much as I want to ignore this..work and relationships don't mix. I learned that lesson with Brian."

A wave of sorrow washed over me. "So, we..you and I, there's no chance of any type of...anything, between us?"

She cast her eyes downwards. "Breakfast is almost ready."

I looked down at my cup of coffee. "Olivia, answer me, please."

She sighed. "Look, Barba-"

"Rafael, please."

"Rafael..I've liked you, for a while now, and yeah, sure..falling asleep in your arms was the most amazing thing, but...relationships and work, they are really hard to keep up with, especially with our jobs.." She paused for a moment as if to think, "let's just..wait. See what happens. And maybe in the future, something could spark up."

I tried to refrain from showing any emotion. "I think I'd better get going." I got up and walked into Olivia's bedroom, changing into my clothes from the previous night. _Why would you even think that she liked you? God, you are so stupid Rafael._ I mentaly cursed at myself as I walked back out into the kitchen area. Liv was on the phone so I mouthed the words "see you later" and walked up to the door. _Something doesn't feel right..._ I sighed inwardly.  _Oh, please. You're just looking for a reason to stay._ I opened the door and stepped out of the apartment. _Don't act so childish, Barba._ I pushed my subconscious back and preassed the 'down' button on the elevator.  
Once I left the building, I walked into a coffee shop on 15th street and ordered a caramel macchiato, then sat down in the back of the shop, pulling out my briefcase, I opened it up, but before I could grab the case file I wanted, my phone rang. "Detective Amaro, how may I assist you?"

"Lewis is missing."

I froze. "He's m-missing..but..how?"

"Apparently he was having health troubles so the transferred him to the hospital, and this morning one of the doctors fond his security guard with his neck snapped and gun missing, then they found one of his nurses."

My heart was beating rapidly. "Strung up, and raped." _Oh no..._ "Olivia." I hung up and bolted out of the shop, running back over to her apartments, I ran up the stairs because I knew the elevator would take too long. "Olivia" I knocked on her door and no answer came. "Liv, open up, it's me." I knocked harder, and when no answer came, I walked in. It didn't take long for me to notice the broken lamp and coffee spilt all over the kitchen floor. "Olivia!" I ran into her bedroom, searching her closet and bathroom. No Luck. "Oh no..." My breathing was labored and I tried to call myself down. I dialed her phone number.  
_Hey, it's Olivia. Sorry I missed your_ call.  
"Damnit, Liv!" I threw my phone at the wall right as Amanda and Nick walked in. "He has her."

Nick put a hand through his hair. "That son of a bitch."

"How did we not know about this until just now?" Amanda started walking around.

I pushed pass the both of them, and started walking out. "I don't know, but I will find out."

~***~

"Barba, calm down, please."

"Do not tell me to calm down, Cassidy." I got in his face. "You could care less about her! That's why you aren't doing a damn thing to help her."

"You shut your mouth. Ofcourse I still care about her! I love her for Christ sakes."

I punched him square in the nose, then the jaw. "Woah, woah, babra." Nick pulled me off and put his hand on my chest. "There's no need for that, we'll find her, alright?"

I pushed his hand away and slammed my fist against the table, grabbing the attention of all of the officers. "What are you all looking at?" I stormed out  of the building and into the parking lot. _How can this be happening?_ I sat on the front steps and put my head in my hands. _Please let her be okay..._ I flinched at the thought of what he could be doing to Olivia right now.

"Barba," Nick rushed out. "He's on the phone, asking for you."

I shot up and followed him back into the precinct. "What..what do I say to him?"

"Just keep him talking, we're trying to track him."

I took a deep breath in and put the phone on speaker. "Lewis."  
_"_

_Take me off of speaker."  
_

I did what he asked. "What do you want?"

_"Right now, I have everything I want."  
_

I heard Olivia screaming in the backround. "Don't you dare touch her, you sick son of a bitch."

_"Oh, counselor. You think she actually cares about you? That's why she told you that you guys could never have a relationship."  
_

"How did you-"

_"How did I know about that? I was in her apartment, genius."_

My heart stopped. "If you do anything to harm her..I don't care what third world jungle you're living in...I will hunt you down, and you will be sorry."

_"I'm looking forward to it."_

I heard a click, and then the line went dead. "Son of a bitch!" I slammed the phone down then put my head into my hands again. "How could I let this happen."

"Barba-"

I cut nick off. "If I could have just got him convicted when he raped the 65 year old women..."

"Come on, Counselo-"

"I stayed with her last night. I didn't even think to lock the door, and then early this afternoon, I left. I felt something off, and I ignored it. Using my diligence, as usual."

"Barba..Rafael, this isn't your fault. We're going to find her, I promise." Amanda sat down next to me and rested her hand on my shoulder. "Everything is gonna be okay."

I glanced up and saw the look Amanda and Nick exchanged. "I care about her, okay?"

Nick cleared his throat. "It's just, we've never seen you so..violent..

I sighed. "I'm sorry, I'm just...I'm worried. I've seen what this guy does. And just thinking about what he's doing to Olivia.."

"Don't go there." Nick gave me a look of sympathy.

"I just want her to be okay."

~***~

"It's been 5 hours, where the hell is he?" I was shouting into my phone. "Yeah, whatever." I hung up and took a deep breath. "1PP will be the death of me."

Munch chuckled. "Ah, yes. Welcome to the puzzle palace, counselor."

Nick rushed in. "Guys,we think we might have a lead." I jumped up, but nick stopped me. "Barba, you can't come."

"The hell I can't. Nick, please..I'm begging you."  I gave him a pleading look.

He hesitated before answering. "Get him a vest."

Once we arrived at the docking place, I followed Nick, Amanda, and Finn.

_"Hello, testing, one two."_

"What the hell.." Finn grabbed his radio.

_"Hi guys. I assume you're all listening."_

Nick mouthed, "it's lewis." and I tried to remain calm.

"What do you want, lewis?" Finn gave the hand signal to keep moving as he conversed with the assailant.

_"Oh, I already took what I wanted..but I wanted to inform you guys. Detective Benson and I are going to play a little Russian roulette, aren't we, baby?"_

I tried to reach for the radio, but Finn stopped me. "Come on, Lewis. We all know you don't want to play games. You knew we were going to find you, how come you didn't just run?"

He started laughing. _"Please, the fun's just getting started."_ I heard a rattling noise, then a clicking sound. _"That would be the bullet I just placed inside of the revolver, and Olivia here, bless her heart, is going to go first."_ 5 minutes went by and they were on the last two turns, he pulled the trigger. Nothing. _"Looks like Olivia got the short stick. So sorry, guys."_ My heart stopped beating and I froze. _" I want my face to be the last thing she sees before she dies. I want her to know how bad she fucked up, I want her last moments to be sheer terror, with memories of me flooding her mind. I want her to suffer._ "

There was silence for a moment, and then a gunshot. "Olivia!!"


	3. Chapter 3

Olivia's _P.O.V. . ._

 

"I want my face to be the last thing you see before you die, detective Benson. I want you to remember everything I did to you, and how much I enjoyed every second of it. I want to think about what you did wrong, and how things ended up like this." He took the revolved and put it into his right hand, then put it up to my head. "I want memories of me flooding your head until you can't take it anymore." Then he put the gun to his head. "I want you to suffer." He pulled the trigger.

I jumped, and the blood splattered all over my face, I heard someone screaming my name, and I froze. Unable to decipher what had just happened, I couldn't even react. I stared at William Lewis' limp body, and the gun in his hand. I felt the blood dripping off of my face, and I was still frozen. "Olivia." I heard my name, but it came is pieces, almost as if I was in a dream and someone was trying to wake me up. "Olivia." I looked over and saw Barba, he pulled me into his arms and I was still staring at Lewis' body. "Olivia, look at me." He gabbed my face and forced me to look at him. "Are you okay?" He searched my face for any kind of emotion. "What happened?" When I didn't answer, he told Finn to go grab a blanket, and when he had the blanket, he wrapped it around me and guided me outside where there was over 40 cops and police cars waiting. "It's going to be okay." I gripped onto the blanket as I started shaking.

"Take her down to the hospital, do not conversate with her."

Barba put me into the back of an SUV and he got in the front, starting the car and driving off. I noticed him glancing back at me every 3 minutes. "I'm fine, Barba." It was barely above a whisper.

"She speaks." he offered me a smile through the rear view mirror, but I could tell he was still terrified.

"You can breathe now."

He lightly chuckled, then sighed. "I'm so sorry, Olivia.."

I felt tears prickling my eyes. "Don't say sorry."

"It's all my fault..I should've stayed with you, but instead I acted like I goddamn ki-"

"Barba, stop. Please."

_Barba's P.O.V. . ._

"I'm sorry, Liv." I wanted to punch myself for being so stupid.

"Please stop apologizing."

I sighed. "Alright, I'm sor- okay." I pulled up into the hospital parking lot and got up, then opened the door and grabbed onto Olivia. "Come on." She tried to pull away. "I'm sorry." I paused for a moment. "I didn't mean to..scare you..." She shrugged and continued walking into the ER were three people from 1PP were waiting. "Fucking vultures..do you want me to tell them to come back later?" She nodded. "Okay, sit down, and I'll go talk to them, then check you in." I waited until she found a seat them walked over to the group of guys. "She isn't up for questions right now."

"It's protocol, sir."

He tried to walk past me, but I stopped him. "I said she isn't up for questions right now. You can wait 2 hours. She's been through hell and I don't think you need to make it worse for her right now." The guy stepped back and gave a subtle nod.  "Thank you." I turned around and walked up to the front desk to check Olivia in. "Hi, I want to check a patient in."

The lady at the front desk was typing away on her computer. "Name and Date of birth."

"Olivia Benson, and January 24th, 1964."

"Middle initial."

"M" _Is she even writing any of this down?_

"Have a seat and we'll be right with you."

I scoffed and walked back over to Olivia, sitting across from her so I wouldn't make her uncomfortable. "How are you doing, Liv?" She shrugged and continued staring at the floor. "I know this is hard for you," I paused for a moment to think about what I could say to offer her some kind of comfort. _There probably isn't anything. Just give her space._ "Do you just want me to give you some space for a little awhile? Because I can do that. Just say the word." She shook her head. "Do you want something to drink, or eat?"

"A cup of coffee sounds good."

I offered a small smile and got up to go get it, I looked back at Olivia to make sure she was still okay, and I ran into someone. "Oh, I'm Sor-" I stopped once I saw who it was. "Leave."  Brian tried to push past me, but I placed my hand on his chest. "If you even think that I'm going to let you see her, you're crazy."

He gripped my wrist and yanked my hand away. "Put your hands on me again and I'll break your nose."

I gritted my teeth. "Then you're gonna haveto break my nose." I pushed him backwards and he stumbled before pushing himself up

He started coming at me as a doctor walked up to his. "I have some news. Are you the boyfriend of the detective?" I nodded, Brian was about to say something, but stopped and huffed, I smirked. "William Lewis didn't die when he shot himself." I immediately stopped, and I glanced over back to Olivia. _Oh no..._ "He's in surgery right now. There's a chance he will pull through..I just thought I'd tell you." He gave me a look of sympathy then disappeared down the hall.

"Goddamnit." I clenched my fists, then looked back over to Brian. "The door is right there." I saw the tick in his jaw as he turned around and walked out. I sighed, trying to think of what I was going to tell Olivia. _'Hey, the guy who sexually assaulted you, and nearly killed you is still alive. Here's your coffee.'_ I got her the coffee and walked back over to her, sitting across from her. "Here's your coffee."

She took it and looked over to me. "Was that Brian?"

I nodded. "Yeah, but he was just coming in to talk to me about something, nothing important." _You're lying at of your ass._ She nodded and took a sip of her coffee. "Liv.." I paused for a moment, "there's something I need to tell you."

"Go for it."

"It's-" Before I could tell her anything, she fainted. "Olivia!" I got down on the floor with her. "I need a doctor over here!" Two doctors came rushing over and I got out of their way. "She..she was fine a couple of minutes ago..I don't know what happened..."

Once of the doctors checked her pulse. "Pulse is weak. Let me listen to her lungs." He pulled out his stethoscope. "We have to get her into the OR now." Two more doctors came over, picked her up, and placed her into a gurney, then rushed her off, I tried following but one of the doctors stopped me. "Sir, wait her."

"What's wrong with her?" I watched as the wheeled her away, and the doctor who held me back followed them. I tried to refrain from letting the tears fall from my face, but one lone tear slipped and I swiped at my watery weakness, walking up to the front desk. "Can you tell me which room William Lewis is in?"

~***~

It had been 5 hours since they brought Olivia back to the OR, I was going crazy. No one told me anything. I was completely in the dark. I was also waiting for the doctors to update me on William Lewis. _How am I going to tell Liv that he's still alive?_ I sighed and sat up, putting my head into my hands. "I just want this whole day to be over."

"Rafi."

I looked up and saw my mom. "Mommy." She came up to me, and I got up. She wrapped her arms around me, squeezing tight.

"Lo siento mucho, Rafael." This time, I couldn't stop it. I started crying and she squeezed me tighter. "Va a estar bien, Rafi." She rubbed my back as I sobbed into her shoulder. "Shhh..it's goin to be okay, Darling." She repeated that over and over again until I had calmed down. "How is she?"

"I don't know..they won't tell me anything, but she's been in the operating room for almost 6 hours now.."

She gave me a look a sympathy. "Don't worry, darling. She's going to be okay." She pulled me into her arms again.

I began to recollect the first time my mom met Olivia.

~*******~

 

_"Mommy,"_

_"We have to talk."_

_"Mommy, I'm a little busy right now."_

_"You're always busy. You don't think this is important?"_

_"Of course I do."_

_Olivia came around the corner. "Barba, 100,000 dollars for a homicide, are you kidding me?"_

_"We're lucky we didn't get ROR. Sergeant Benson, this is my  mother, Lucia Barba."_

_"Oh." Liv smiled._

_"Benson," my mom paused for a moment. "He talks about you. You drive him a little crazy." She looked over at me and I rolled my eyes._

_"Just doing my job." She looked over to me and I smirked._

_I guided my mom away. "Mommy, take another look at that place for abuelita. You know that it's the right thing to do."_

_She stopped. "No, you know it's the right thing to do."_

_I sighed. "Please, just think about it."_

_She rolled her eyes. "I'm thinking, call me." She started walking away._

_"Bye, Mom." I glanced back at Olivia who was smiling at me. I offered a smile in return._

_~*******~_

A small smile crossed my lips as I remembered that day. "I'm here for Olivia Benson." I looked up and saw a doctor wearing scrubs and a scrub cap.

"I'm the..boyfriend." I hesitated before saying 'boyfriend'

"She's doing just fine, her vitals are stable, but we do have her on oxygen. Just a precaution."

"Uhm, can you," I paused, "can you tell me what happened to her?"

He scrunched his eyebrows. "No one told you?" I shook my head and he frowned. "She had a collapsed lung caused by a severe blow to the rib cage."

My breath caught. "So she could've..died? How come I didn't see that something was wrong.."

The doctor sighed. "Sometimes, the lung doesn't collapse right after the blow occurs. It takes time for the rib that is out of place to wiggle itself into the lung. We're just lucky we caught it when we did, otherwise I'd be having a completely different conversation with you right now."

"When will I be able to see her?"

I looked at his watch. "She should be up within the hour, but you're more then welcome to go wait in her room. But only one person at a time." He looked over to my mom.

I nodded and the doctor walked away. "You can go home now, mom. I'll be fine." She smiled and hugged me one last time before getting up. "I love you."

"I love you, too." She kissed me on the cheek then walked out of the waiting room.

I got up and asked the doctors which room Liv was in. Once I got into her room, I stopped. She looked so..pale. "Oh, Liv.." I grabbed a seat and brought it up next to her bed, grabbing her hand. It was ice cold. "Hi." I tried to hold back the tears I felt prickling the back of my eyes. "I don't know if you can hear me right now..but..I'm so sorry. I acted like a child and walked out on you when I should have stayed..I wish I could take it all back, but I can't. And I know how hard this has been for you, but I promise you'll get through it. I'll be right here to help you every step of the way." I brought her hand up to my face and kissed it. "I will never let anything bad happen to you ever again, Olivia. I promise." I squeezed her hand tight, but not too tight. "Don't forget..you told me we'd both be 85 and fighting with eachother, I'm going to hold you to that, Benson." I started to replay that memory in my head.

~*******~

 

_"Oh, families." I sighed._

_Olivia closed her laptop. "How's your grandmother?"_

_I sat down. "Still giving me grief about moving out of that walk up death trap she's somehow confused with Shangri-La."_

_"She didn't like the..facility?"_

_I shook my head. "No, she didn't. But it can't be her choice anymore..So, we're starting to pack up her things, under protest."_

_"Mm..that's hard." Liv paused. "You are a good grandson."_

_"No, I'm not. I'm over-compensating." I looked over to Olivia. "What are you gonna be doing when you're 85?_

_She seemed to give it a moment of thought before answering with, "Squabbling with you?" She smiled._

_I gave a half smile. "Wouldnt that be nice..""_

_~*******~_

 


End file.
